1) Well, chances are that the dates you shall choose to visit the festival are over the Republic Day Weekend. But let’s explore your options eh. If you are in Delhi, the other interesting event you could be part of is the Republic Day Parade Celebration. Now since you were never the brave sorts, you won’t get to sit atop an elephant like those children that are getting the National Bravery award. Neither are you part of the Border Security Force, so no camel ride either, not even if you try to jump the audience border past security forcibly. What you will be doing for sure is jostle with a thousand other people like you, rubbing sweaters, trying to get a glimpse of the achievers march proudly. And suddenly you see yourself lying on the ground after a particularly enthused neighbor elbowed you in the face by mistake, while trying to emulate the president during the 21 gun salute. Not nice no, to be lying around all those twenty one thousand Delhi feet. So, go to the Jaipur Literature Festival instead.
2) We live in the dark ages. There is no Rahul, no Sachin, and team India has reached rock bottom, pataal, nadir. The Aussie team is coming, and Michael Clarke can’t stop rubbing his hands in glee. Forget their current team, even if Australia sends a group of eleven kangaroos dressed in whites, they’ll beat Dhoni and Co. So no point, waking up on a Sunday and turning on ESPN. Book a Jaipur package , hope that a few controversies steal the show, and help you temporarily forget the pain that every Indian cricket fan is going through for the last one year.
3) Social media was at its most potent in 2012. But ten days into 2013, and when someone asks you about social media’s most impactful influences on you, all that you can remember is the avalanche of wedding albums put up on facebook. Hehe, of course you find them irritating, after all you are single and the chances of someone marrying you now is as much as someone wanting that with you when you were a two year old baby wetting your nappies. Want to meet a cute person? Close facebook, book your ticket, and once you reach Diggi Palace, walk around in random directions loudly quoting Shakespeare and Byron. No, you won’t get you a lover, but it’ll be fun for me to know if someone actually fell for this idea.
4) You might actually find someone there. I did. Last year. Fatima Bhutto. Now all that is left is for her to find me. Fir chat mangni, pat shaadi.
5) You are a budding author, aspiring for greatness. But the closest you have come to a publishing deal is the publish button on your wordpress blog. You think you have the goods to be a Twain, a Phamuk, but a sly glance at the comment count on your blog, and all you see are a few porn websites trying to spam their links in, and one comment from your mother, only because she is your mother. You realize that to become an author, it is not enough that you write and well. You need to network with publishers. And there is no better place to network than the JLF eh?
Not that you’ll really be able to network. But they have a great bar down there, so why brood about things like future and career paths and glory and greatness. Fosters’s mate. Cheers.
Till then, may the force be with you, and the Indian team. Au revoir! Hic.. err excush me.. slightly hic tipsy mate.
At WeAreHolidays, Neeraj Narayanan is Head of the Content and Digital Media Team. He has a Masters in Advertising & Media Communication, has had experience as a Communication Consultant to the Government of Gujarat, and as a Brand man in the IT giant firm - Cognizant.
On weekends, he conducts Heritage Walks in Delhi.
Neeraj Narayanan – who has written 59 posts on WAH Blog.
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never knew one could tag fun to a lit fest and to this rapturous extent ! I almost laughed out on the fifth point . . So hurtfully true at times
Almost laughed out? What’ stopping you Maliny? There there, don’t keep it in, zor zor se laugh.