Let me put it straightforward – Australia isn’t a wee bit like what you see in the commercials or what you didn’t see in Nicole Kidman’s dud, Australia (don’t tell me you watched this one!).

When I first landed in this country, just like you, my expectations were pretty sharp. Kangaroos, laid back people, awesome weather – that’s what my Australia was all about. But two months down the lane, I came to know a lot about this country, some of which I wish I knew before travelling to this place. And this is my effort, to spill the beans and tell you all I know of it now.

Here’s my Australia wish list – things which I wish I knew (and you must know) before coming to Australia.

Entrée is not what you thought it is!

So when I ordered a meal for the first time, I asked for an entrée in the usual fashion. Well, all I got was a small salad. Yes! In Australia entrees are the same as appetizers. So if your ‘growling stomach’ is in immediate need of something filling, the word you’re looking for is ‘main course’.

Foster’s is Just a Myth!

The mystery is finally resolved. No one drinks Foster’s in Australia. At least I am yet to find a place where they sell a bottle of Foster’s or two!

Your Girlfriend is Not Just a ‘Girlfriend’

There prevails a gender ambiguity in the country. Australians prefer calling their significant others as ‘partner’. Your wife is your partner, your girlfriend is your partner, and well, your business partner is also your partner. So never call your better half by gender, or they’ll immediately know you are from an alien land.

Coffee is Life. Period.

Coffee means serious business for the Aussies. From Flat Whites to Long Blacks, weekends are all about café hopping. C U Latte, Fleetwood Macchiato and Toby Estate are heaven for coffee mongers. Beware! Don’t even think about mentioning Starbucks; it’s a sin!

Want to make Australian Coffee your cuppa tea? Here are some great reading resources:

10 Australian Coffee Shops - BuzzFeed
Coffee in Australia - Sydney Moving Guide

Australian English is a Different Affair

You thought Aussies spoke English? Think again. A woman is a Sheila, an American is a seppo, Fair Dinkum means a fair statement, stubby means beer and beaut stands for great. So you better learn up some local slang before you enter this totally different-English speaking territory.

Three things won’t leave your back- Sun, Sun and Sun

It’s always sunny is Australia. If you are not used to all things heated, head to the country well-prepared. Sun block, sun glasses, sunscreen – keep them on you at all times. And it’s the worst between 10 AM and 3 PM, since UV radiation is most intense during these hours, especially if you don’t want to get the infamous Australian ‘Red-Lobster’ sore. Trust me, this one won’t even let you walk straight.

Here’s a Tip – Never Tip!

I thought it was generous to tip, but Australians think otherwise. If you tip someone at a bar, it is regarded as a sexual move. So if you aren’t a master of the art of tipping, then this will come as a big relief. However, this has a downside too. The customer service isn’t very delightful in the country as, you know, there aren’t any perks for working hard.

No Honking Please…

So you thought honking is the best way to get around the town in fifteen minutes? Not in Australia at least. Nobody honks unnecessarily in Australia. People there consider it to be rude if you honk unless you want to indicate an emergency to the other driver. And if you decide not to abide by this rule, there are authorities in place to levy a handsome fine on you.

Laidback!? What’s that?

Yes, advertisements and movies do tell you that Aussies do what they love and at the end of everyday, head out to party. But reality is stark opposite! Most people here have stressful jobs with long working hours. Moreover, the civil liberties laws are so stringent that you can’t even open a bottle of alcohol on the street, let alone partying all night long. Not so laidback after all.

It’s Darn Expensive!

Australia is an expensive place to live in. Basic necessities like food, house and water come for a decent cost. A domestic flight starts from anywhere around $700! Even cars are very pricey. Forget second hand models; to buy even a 15 year old car, you’ll need a few thousand dollars.

Australia Holiday Packages

Coming to Australia is fun if you know what to expect. Keep these essentials in mind and make sure you aren’t too demanding. Your stay in the country will be a smooth sail. But if you don’t, well, you might end up in Kidman’s Australia.

Khyati Sehgal

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