1) You are in Goa, walking on the sands of the beautiful Baga beach. You choose to wear:

• A pair of shorts and, well, nothing on the top. You spent six months in the gym and by Jove, the world just has to see your biceps.
• A bright spaghetti top and a matching sarong. The hat will not just keep away the sun, but also the rain that is… oops, now pelting down with an all consuming intensity.
• A kurta and pyjama. We are Indians and our sanskriti does not allow us to expose any skin. Chhee chhee.
• The Indian team’s cricket jersey. You are their most loyal supporter and will not wear anything else, come what may. Sachinn, Sachinnn…

2) You are in Thailand, going for your first scuba dive. You choose to wear:

• Of course the scuba costume and gear that the organizers provide. But when no one’s looking , you slyly slice off the sleeves. Them fishes must see the biceps, by God!
• You were quite happy because the costumes are body hugging, but then refused to enter the water because the costumes are only available in blue and black and you want pink!
• “The scuba costume is okay, but only if you let me put a sticker on it that says ‘I love my India, vatan mera India’ “
• “They don’t play cricket in the ocean? What, no one plays cricket in Thailand? I am going back to Wankhede… err I mean Bombay, on the next flight.”

3) It was your dream to trek in the Himalayas, and you are finally here. What do you wear?

• “If Rambo did not need a sweater or snow shoes in the hills, neither do I.”
• A pink snow coat, brown boots and a smart belt that accentuates the figure perfectly.
• “Quick, tell me the route to Kargil!”
• Dhoni’s wearing a yellow baniyan in the latest CSK ad. So, of course a yellow baniyan you will wear, come hail or snow in the Himalayas.

4) You are in the middle of the forest in Gir on your first safari, excited that you might get to see a lion. You are wearing:

• “I am going to punch the living daylights out of that lion. King of the jungle, hmph! We’ll see who the king of the jungle really is”
• “A leotard, preferably in leopard skin *squeals with joy*.  What a way to blend in with the surroundings.
• “Saffron is the top colour of my flag, saffron is the colour of the lion’s body and of course saffron kurta is what I shall wear”.
• “Dude, I support the Kochi tuskers. Can’t we just see an elephant instead?”

5) Rishikesh:  You are on a boat, on your first white water rafting trip. What do you wear?

• Nothing. It is here, in the midst of all the roaring rapids, in the Mighty Ganges, flanked by tall mountains on both sides, in this battle of Man v/s Wild, that it occurs to you that you came into the world naked, that’s how God intended it to be, and that you have to go back to your basic primeval instincts.
• “I am not getting into the boat with a naked man.”
• “Naked man? Sir, are you heading for the Allahabad Kumbh Mela?”
• “Is that a wicket down there or is this naked man just happy to see me?”

What your answers say about you

Mostly A’S : Hey there Neanderthal! You are the quintessential alpha male, testosterone flows in your body much like water in the River Brahmaputra during the floods. When you play cards you never win because you refuse to have any hearts or diamonds with you, its only clubs and spades you like. The Flintstones is your favourite cartoon.  In terms of fashion, you score an absolute zero, actually you are at minus eight.

Mostly B’s:  Aloha, girly girl. Your cupboard is as colourful as the colours of the rainbow. You have more sandals in your dressing room than those outside the Tirupati temple. Some days you are upset only because your dress is good and the day is too insignificant. You have a jewellery box that has so many occupants that you can easily open shop in a flea market. You have a matching hair band and purse for every dress you wear. In terms of fashion, you score ten on ten. Can I have your number?

Mostly C’s : Manoj Kumar and Sunny Deol are your favourite heroes. You saw Lakshya five times in the hall, and Border fifty times. You hate Doordarshan but still watch it because when Sunny lifts a hand-pump and chases away an entire foreign army, you believe in him. Every night before going to sleep you look up at the skies and mutter “East or West, India is the best”.  After changing into a night set – orange night shirt and green pajamas. The naada is white of course.  Fashion? It’s a movie where Priyanka Chopra mated with a firang, and you are still upset about it.

Mostly D’s:  You are like me? Then you must be nice and cool and studly and all that what comes with it. Want to share a beer, mate?  Oh, you win the competition hands down.